And I Love Her

Jojo and I watched some of "Yellow Submarine" tonight and it brought back a lot of memories. We used to watch it all the time when she was tiny. She still laughs at the same places. Kris had me search for an analog/digital video converter thingy for the computer and I stumbled upon a video compilation I made of Jojo's first two years. We watched it and realized she's not a baby anymore. But I still do some of the same things. I check on her and kiss her forehead before I go to sleep. Nights when i'm away with a band or on vacation without her, I get sad when I can't do that. I'm gonna be a complete wreck when she gets to the age when you're supposed to hate your parents. I never did but you never know. Who'da thunk one person could have so much love for another. Wanna feel old? Get yerself some kids.

Y? Because We Like You.

Hiya, Bloggy! Missed me? I see nothing was done to the Telecaster but at least there was no serious damage. First thing I did when I got home was to clog the toilet with a colon-busting poo. I could run a race now. Epcot/Magic Kingdom were great. Jojo rode on Big Thunder Mountain yelling "Ride 'em Cowboy!". I just opened the wallet and let them do what they must. Needless to say, it's MUCH thinner. At the hotel, they ran movies at the pool so we floated to "Happy Feet". It's great to be home but i'm right back into the stream; WAY TOO MUCH TO DO! Laundry, garbage, recycleds, drum loading for tonight's gig, dinner, etc.. This week is going to be real busy. Tuesday: Lion King. Wednesday: Rehearsal w/Jim Wurster. Thursday: funeral for a friend. Friday: Crash. Hard. Saturday:

It Is A Four-Letter Word.

George Jones is not happy until he's breaking the fuck out of your heart. What's that? Don't like George Jones? Too twangy? Too country? Wehehelll! Lemme teach ya somethin', Buddy! George Jones is the King of Heartbreak. The guy is one of the great geniuses of Melancholia (like Patsy Cline, Otis Redding, Gene Clark, Brian Wilson, Gram Parsons, The Everlys, Hank Williams,Sr....just to name a few). Maybe folks think his music is low brow or not for smarty-pantses. Love and Heartbreak are not articulate. You're gonna tell me you haven't done something stoopid for love? When someone broke your heart in the worst way and treated you like crap you didn't pine for them? If that ain't stoopid, I don't know what is. Love is a stoopid emotion. It's totally primal. Say you're in love with..... your car. Someone comes up and keys it and you want to kill them....stupid, isn't it? Love's certainly made a fool of everyone reading this at one time or another. But we keep getting in the game 'cause it's impossible to live without. I can't do it. Gonna have to face it...You're adickandapud. That feeling when you know someone loves you. You can do no wrong and even the stoopidest things are magical. Go listen to George Jones and have a good cry...this one's on me. I'll be in Epcot for the weekend breaking my back carrying my little gorilla. I'll miss you, Blog. Feed the cats and restring the Telecaster please.

Pei Your Own Wei

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

I gotta learn to keep my mouth shut.

Ok. Re-reading that post made me think I should clarify some things so I don't piss anybody off. I used the word "girl" to describe how I feel next to Manly men. It is not meant in a derogatory way. I do not use the word "girl" to imply weak or inferior. I was trying to be funny and in a surrealistic way I meant an actual woman. I should probably clear up the Gay thing. I can look at certain men and appreciate their good looks. I've had plenty of gay friends/roommates and, for some odd reason, they've never been atrracted to me (wonder why.). I've been kissed by men twice and it never scared me. I used to kiss my Dad on the mouth (maybe an Italian tradition?) and that never bothered me. And most of the men i'd go out with are dead. If you really wanna know, i'll tell you who they are. I hope to never bring this up again...until the next time.
Your Humble Narrator,
Gaylord McGaystein
Fire away!

We Must, We Must, We Must Increase Our.....Trust?

The world's going to hell. I heard it on NPR. I gotta stop listening to it. Everything is bad news. When are we gonna implode already? Everyone's a criminal. You can't trust your politicians anymore. I caught my wife trying to steal a glance! How do ya like that? Today I went to the YMCA while the family had other matters to attend to. It felt very weird to be anywhere by myself. I ended up just swimming. I was putting my ears under water imagining that being in the womb must be similar. The muffled echoey screams. The floating. Weird. There were too many people in the whirlpool for me to feel comfortable in there so I waited till it thinned out. There was still some burly guys in there when I got in so I avoided eye contact so they wouldn't figure out I was a girl. They tell you not to exceed 10 minutes for a reason. I was in there for 15 and I felt woozy when I got out. I went to the Men's Locker Room and was presented with a variety of dicks. I didn't choose any and went about my business. What is it with silly hang-ups? When we went to England, we stayed in a hostel and all the men were walking around naked and didn't seem to care. When I went to Yosemite, it was crawling with European tourists who were letting it flap in the wind without a care in the world. Are we so macho we can't let it all hang out? OK, this is the second posting with gay subject matter in it. I must be gay. Let me check.....Nope. Well, how do I know? I gotta get off this subject before I get myself in trouble. Baseball! Yeah, that'll do the trick! My favorite team is the Baltimore Dodgers......GAY!

If We Couldn't Laugh, We Would All Buy A Bat.

Let me start by saying I hate violence. When I say within these walls (?)that I want to kill someone or commit some kind of violent act, i'm just saying it and would never do it. Hell, i'm afraid of small flying bugs that couldn't hurt me at all (which is bullshit. i've seen a palmetto bug rip a man's head clean off. one of these days i'll explain my fear.).

Now that that's clear, I must rant. I'm pulling up to my local[xxC';SAKDF ['QOPE4T]-QI3]R Q( i can't tell you why that just happened. i can only say it's something visual that just happened before mine eyes)Publix (pronounced pyoo-blix) and I witnessed a woman SMACKING her kid in the head REPEATEDLY and yelling for him to "GET IN THE FUCKING CAR". I was stunned and I had to put down the flamethrower for fear I would make her crispy. Please tell me, readers, I didn't feel this way just 'cause i'm a Daddy. This is pure evil. Granted I got smacked when I was a kid and, as far as I can remember, I deserved it but i'm older now and times have changed and I hate this sort of thing. I've NEVER even had to threaten Johanna in this way...nor would I ever. OK, i'm ready for the hate mail. Mom, you go first.

Sunday was Earth Day and I made sure one of the first things I did was listen to "Mother Nature's Son". Fantastic song. You go, Paul. The gig at Elwood's was OK. Keith showed up and got an earful of me me me. I'd like to take a break right now and shamelessly plug my friend Keith. A long long time ago, Keith would drive his car into the ground making sure yours truly had a ride to faraway gigs, while always praising and promoting. It continues to this day. Last night, we had a really long gut-spilling conversation and never once did he tell me to shut up. He's tirelessly listened to my crap for years and he still talks to me. I know you're reading this and I want you to know how I sincerely appreciate everything you do for me. I walked away last night feeling good after ranting to you and you didn't even charge the regular fees. I say, without a hint of being gay, I love you. You'll never know how much your friendship means to me....Damn. Check's in the mail. Have at it, Dave.

Rolling Numbers, Rock and Rolling

I wasn't successful. Gig got rained out or so i'm told. We were eating sushi (not me. i'm not cool enough. i had chicken teriyaki...hold the green stuff) when the call came in to not play and get paid for staying home. What, me complain? Actually, I was looking forward to not sucking as bad as last night but i'll just have to let it go...KEITH! I went to see Keith's group and they played some good stuff. "Fever" being a standout. I think K put the solo to "Cold Shot" in there but I can't be sure. I made a vow to break his fingers next time I see him for getting a much better sound than mine. Damn! Oh, and fire the drummer. His timing is terrible.

AAAAEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

This was the scene from day one of the Mardi Gras thing at Cocowalk. It was actually very low stress. Parking was easy (and free!). I found out when I got there I didn't need to bring an extremely heavy amp. Damn. Kinda tired today and i'm sure it'll be more of the same tomorrow. I took this goo called Han's Honey Loquat yesterday thinking it would help my busted-up voice (i need all the help i can get) and it upset my stomach but seemed to do the trick. I wouldn't give Mario Lanza a run for his money, but I might make American Billy Idol. This guy from the band before us came up and played washboard with us which was cool. Kinda sounded like a credit card on a stubbly face. Tonight, i'm gonna try to say hello to Robin Zander from Cheap Trick who is one of the "headliners". You'll see it here if i'm successful.

Wrote A Song About It. Like To Hee It? Hee It Go!

When did I get old? Everything hurts. I can't stay up late anymore without wrecking the next day. I keep telling myself to turn the music down. I forget everything. People are trying to help me cross the street. I'm a whiny bitch. It's too hot. It's too cold. I just started listening to NPR again. Don't get me wrong...i'm not one of those spectacles wearing, tree-hugging liber.....Ah, nevermind. I'm just relaxing here before the busy weekend....HAHAHAHAHAHAHAouch! I've got a million things to do to get ready for the gigs this weekend. I'm starting to really miss being home. Next weekend, we go to Epcot so that should be good. Another guilty pleasure is "Sugar, Sugar" by the Archies. This song always cheers me up. I guess it is a bit too sunny but I like it anyway. And the guy singer's delivery is almost happy-dirgelike at times....like he's sad but has to keep a brave face. Maybe i'm reading too much into it. Maybe I should be a photojournalist. But I can't photo OR journalist. Damn!

Lions-3. Christians-0.

This was the scene at the Bamboo Room in Lake Worth last night. We rocked the bjeezus out of roughly about 12 people. Way to go, team! I am the waitress! Coo coo ca joob!

Schlameel, Schlmozzle, Hossenfeffer inc.

You ever notice that most men who drive Mustangs are aggressive assholes? They cut you off and then give you the finger for just being in the way. I love the Zombies. You should, too. I'd like to start mentioning a few of my guilty pleasure songs and why I like them. I would imagine most people think I have crummy taste in music anyway. Sod 'em! Anyway, my current favorite guilty pleasure song is "If I Can't Have You" by Yvonne Elliman. Yes, it's the song from Saturday Night Fever. This is an awesome song. The chord changes, the spooky reverb on her voice...the sentiment of the song! Anyone else agree? Today, Johanna got picked for an awesome Montessori school for kindergarten. There was a lottery and she got picked. Way to go, Kiddo!
That's my girl! Tomorrow night is the Bamboo Room which ought to be interesting. So should the next day on little sleep.

227

I'm sorry, BlogGods! I had so much to do last night. I was nodding off during the Daily Show. And wouldn't you know it...I kept waking up through the night and i'm really tired today. Looks like I blew my record for blogging everyday. Guess i'll have to do it again later.

Making Friends and Influencing Udders

Crazy Weekend! South Shore Grill: crummy. O'Hara's : crummy. Keith was there and that made it allright (thanks Keith!). I was supposed to break Woody out for the first gig (Delray Affair) but the weather wasn't so good so I didn't do it. I got "The Jerk" on DVD and I planned on watching it figuring Elwood's would be rained out. No such luck. Pretty lackluster night but we switched instruments and I got to play a bit of guitar and bass on "Louis, Louis". Got in some good conversation with my pal Terence and that made it all good. No broken bones. Good night, blog.
Better luck next week. Bamboo Room here we come!

Could You Be My Little Movie Star?

I'm making Matthew Sweet's "Girlfriend" my favorite album of the moment. I remember when it came out and I saw the end of the "Girlfriend" video on MTV (remember when they showed videos of music other than lame-ass emo and hip hop/rap?). It sounded like Cream in the fuzz guitar and tin can drum sound. At that time, it was really refreshing and I went right out and got the cd and devoured it. Like most music I like, I probably listened to it for a few months straight without listening to anything else. I loved the dry production and the songs themselves. This week, I broke it out and listened to it again and it brought me right back to 1991. The broken-hearted ache of "You Don't Love Me" still makes me shiver. "I've Been Waiting" is pure pop candy like "Sugar Sugar" ( which is an incredible song) that, on any given day, you can hear me singing to while i'm whizzing down I-95 with a smile plastered on my face from sheer bliss. There's one or two stinkers but even they are leaps and bounds above most of the tripe that passes for modern music these days. Matthew, wherever you are in the world, I love you dearly for repeatedly renewing my faith in the power of music. I will never tire of "Girlfriend" and I hope to one day join your band. Do yourself a favor. Go home. Take the cd (or LP if you're like me) out and relax and enjoy it again. You won't be disappointed. And if you are, can I have your copy?
P.S. Thanks for the shirt, Keith!

I've Seen A Million Faces And I've Rocked Them All

...or sat on them all. I can't remember which. As predicted earlier, my weekend is fooked. I gotta go to Johanna's school for this SpringFest thing (Kris has to do face painting and she's freaked about it) early this morning and try to meet with Jerry Leeman to go over some songs for Sunday's first gig at the Delray Affair. And squeeze in some laundry and string changing for O'Hara's tonight. How do I do it? Sheer stupidity. Tonight, The Dillengers played a gig at South Shore Grill in Lake Worthless and it was killing me. I shoulda phoned in my part. All the gangstas started showing up so I hightailed it outta there. I'm worn down to the nub. On a good note, famed Beatleband The Fab Four are coming and Keith and Gab and Kris and Jojo and Grandma and I are going. It ought to be a blast. Jojo hasn't seen a concert yet so that ought to be interesting. I must go to sleep immediately.

If I Let You Borrow My Ax, Will You Kill Yourself With It?

Oh, Boy!
First of all, fuck Imus. What a dumbshit. He should get life for that. Second, too bad Bush didn't say it so we could nail that piece of shit once and for all. Check my Gangsta stance before it was cool. Those cool drums have been in the L-7 studios for years and i'm gonna restore them. I picked them up tonight at the old/new studio thats being knocked down. Damn! I'm gonna miss my Tuesday Night Music Club. For the last bunch of months, a small cast of characters have been meeting to write and record some music on Tuesday evenings. The result is Jim Wurster's new cd "hallelujah". I play on it and I picked up a production credit too. It sounds great.
Don't jump to conclusions about the Beatles picture. I'm not flipping them off. That's for that stoopid magazine. Boy, I was lured into buying that trash by the cover. This Christopher Scapelliti wrote a half-decent article about the making of Sgt. Pepper and he has to blow it by writing "...even though it does contain a few dull clunkers like 'She's Leaving Home','When I'm 64' and, depending on your generosity of spirit, 'Within You Without You'".
Now I know it's a matter of opinion. I know quite a few BeatlePeedles who don't care for the album but Jeez! Those songs are great! I don't get it. And while there are things I don't get...What's up with the whole male-ness of guitar playing these days? All these magazines glorify these white, male note merchants as Gods. Who's to say Yngwie Malmturd is better than Bo Diddley? Why, because he plays a lot of notes? Eddie Van Handlebar is better than Pops Staples? Not in my book. What about Steve Cropper? Why can't a guitar player just play something meaningful that sounds good or stirs your emotions instead of some guy typing out math problems? I admit I play too many notes sometimes and swap taste for speed. I'm not proud of it. Yes, I'm part of the problem. At least I don't look like I sniffed glue at the tattoo parlor and got into Mommy's makeup case. While we're at it....Why must we have these terrible ads in guitar "magazines" objectifying women? Are you really that stupid that you'd buy a guitar because a scantily clad woman is holding it? What is this world coming to? I think this is totally unnecessary and insulting. While were at it...what's with product endorsements? Just 'cause Joe Rockgod plays CacaPoopoo amps doesn't mean you're gonna get his sound. Why would you want it anyway? Forge your own path. Joe Rockgod got where he is by doing his own thing. Don't hate me 'cause i'm beautiful.

Tell Me, Wise Owl, How Many Licks Does It Take To Get To The Center Of Fuck You?

I love Brian Wilson. There, I've said it. I'm having some serious allergy attacks. Sneezing. Runny Nose. Loss of voice. Not thrilled. Laundry and bed. Can't miss Daily Show. Taxes were OK. We're actually getting a refund. That almost never happens. I'm addicted to iced coffee. Tired. Fat. Balding. How've you been?