Friends have told me that you fall apart when you near 40 and I'm starting to believe it. Sunday night, I started to feel sick like fatigued and fluish. I figured it was nothing and it would be gone by morning. Monday, I went into work feeling lightheaded with a sore throat and I had a panic attack for some reason. I felt like I just needed to get out of there and did some deep breathing and eventually talked myself off the ledge without anyone knowing what was going on. Over the next few days, the sickness got worse. I went to the doctor yesterday morning and they gave me some anti-biotics to take. Then I went to the chiropractor for my regular visit. This time with a sore lower back from the incident on Friday night where I felt like I pinched a nerve. He didn't really help me.
Last night, my throat and back hurt so bad i hardly slept. I had the feeling my kidney stones were coming back 'cause the pain was in the same place. This morning, I went to the emergency room to find out what's going on. The worst part about all this? Before my catscan, they wheeled me in front of a TV and I was stuck watching a press conference with President Shithead. I don't know why, but sometimes I feel sorry for him. The world is ganging up on him (with good reason) and he has to keep a brave face. I can relate to his stammering when asked a tough question; I never stuttered in my life until my boss yelled at me the first time and now, when he does, I sound like Mel Tillis. I can't get any logical thoughts out like someone's stepping on my brain. Anyway, I had a catscan and I do have kidney stones but they're really small and not showing signs of affecting me. But I did sprain my lumbar which, i guess, is your lower back. They gave me percosets for the pain and, by cracky, i'm using them. Right now! So now i'm worried 'cause i have a bunch of gigs this weekend and I don't know how i'm gonna handle them.
Which brings me to my next problem; I gotta slow down. I'm playing way too much and not spending enough time relaxing with the family. I don't wanna be one of these guys who never gets to see their kids grow 'cause they're too busy working. I really feel like i'm going to lose my mind if I don't slow down a little. I absolutely love playing but I gotta lower my stress. I'm working a full time job and juggling a few bands and lately it seems all my free time is swallowed up by music. Now wonder i'm having panic attacks! I'm not allowing my mind and body to rest. I'm a terrible sleeper as it is. The hard part is gonna be telling the guys in The Dillengers. I may get fired. I don't wanna quit playing. I just want to have a few days off. I haven't been blogging 'cause I haven't really wanted to think about all this but I have to confront it. I may be combing the Musicians Wanted section of the paper soon. Wish me luck. I really need it this time. I still haven't been able to stop listening to REM. In fact, it's gotten worse. But I haven't had any iced coffee in almost a week. Maybe that's my problem........
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6 comments:
As someone recently said to me (ok, I'm paraphrasing here), if you need to talk, you know where I am.
On second thought, I'll call you. Unless you call me first. Or maybe we'll both call at the same time and get each other's voicemails.
Dammit! Foiled already and I haven't even done anything!!!
I'm glad you went to the Emergency Room today and you're starting to take charge of your health. It makes me scared when start complaining, because it usually means something is really wrong.
It'll slow down soon, Cap'n. Then we can fishin' down to rock bottom again. Love.
Feel better, Mike.
always up for another whole foods date with my old school chum, and maybe even the one in...gasp...boca.
anything but BOCA!!!!!!Argh!!!!
Hey, easy now...
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