I've Grown Accustomed To Your Uvula

This is the third night in a row i've stayed up late to do cool blog stuff.
Now i'm going to bed. Tomorrow is a John Coltrane day and we're doing the taxes.

Pennis the Meaness

I've been tagged which used to mean spray painted. I'll do my best to write more crap about me. Ho hum...













FOODOLOGY

Q. What is your salad dressing of choice?
A. Balsamic Vinegarette

Q. What is your favorite fast food restaurant?
A. Jack In The Box

Q. What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
A. Waffle Haus.

Q. On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant?
A. Whatever falls off.

Q. What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick off of?
A. brown rice. it's so versatile. (i copied this from Kris)

Q. What is your favorite type of gum?
A. Free.
TECHNOLOGY

Q. What is your wallpaper on your computer?
A. Some kind of lightning scene.(we share our 'puter)
Q. How many televisions are in your house?
A. 2

BIOLOGY

Q. What's your best feature?
A. My On-Off switch.

Q. Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
A. Odor.

Q. Which of your five senses do you think is keenest?
A. Spring and sometimes Summer. Oh! senses. Taste.
Q. When was the last time you had a cavity?
A. I've got one developing i'm sure.

Q. What is the heaviest item you lifted last?
A. My spirit.

Q. Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
A. I wasn't knocked but I huffed paint once. That gave me a whopper of a headache.

BULLSHITOLOGY

Q. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
A. no.

Q. Is love for real?
A. Yes. And it's all you need.

Q. If you could change your first name, what would you change it to?
A. Dad.

Q. What color do you think looks best on you?
A. My wife would say Black and Blue.

Q. Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake?
A. Let's just say it was a protein smoothie.

Q. Have you ever saved someone's life?
A. Elton John's

Q. Has someone ever saved yours?
A. Yes.

DAREOLOGY

Q. Would you walk naked for a half mile down a public street for $100,000?
A. yes.

Q. Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100?
A. Where do I sign up?

Q. Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000?
A. The right one (baby!).

Q. Would you never blog again for $50,000?
A. yes.

Q. Would you pose nude in a magazine for $250,000?
A. I have.

Q. Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1,000?
A. no.
Q. Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for $1,000,000?
A. Could it be Dave Lipitor? Lipton? Sweetcheeks?

Q. Would you give up watching television for a year for $25,000?
A. oh yeah.

Q. Give up MySpace forever for $30,000?
A. Have done.

DUMBOLOGY

Q: What is in your left pocket?
A. A roll of Certs, i think.

Q: Is Napoleon Dynamite actually a good movie?
A. To some people.....like me.

Q: Do you have hardwood or carpet in your house?
A. I keep the carpet trim, ya dig?

Q: Do you sit or stand in the shower?
A. I mostly fall.

Q: Could you live with roommates?
A. If they weren't lying, dirty, stinky, cheating, thieving.....Bush supporters.

Q: How many pairs of flip-flops do you own?
A. 3 but I can't find one of them.

Q: Last time you had a run-in with the cops?
A. I've never ran with cops but i've heard they're fast.

Q: What do you want to be when you grow up?
A. Old.


LASTOLOGY

Q: Friend you talked to?
A. Kristie Marie Hackett-Vullo Gonzalez Cheepacheepa, Esq. Her name has been altered to protect the amused.

Q: Last person you called?
A. Called what?
RANDOMOLOGY

Q: First place you went this morning?
A. Directly to the toilet without passing Go. Then I made the coffee...Oh, I washed my hands first. Whew!

Q: What can you not wait to do?
A. Sleep soundly without getting late-night transmissions from the aliens.

Q: What's the last movie you saw?
A. For Your Consideration

Q: Are you a friendly person?
A. Yes. When i'm not telling you why you shouldn't like me.

I hope you've learned something here. I have. I guess this means if you're reading this, you've been spray painted. OOps. Tagged.

3.

My wife says i'm narca...narco(polo)...narcoleptic...no, that's not it. Narcissors...naw, that's not it either. Narciceptible...nope. Narcissistic. There, that's it. Huh. Me? Narcissistic? Me? Me? Me? Me? Me? Me? Me? Me? Nah, not me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. You know, that's inspired me to write a song about this. It's sung to the tune of anything i've written, sung or played by myself. Here goes: Memememememememememememememememememememememememememememememememememememememememememememememememememeit's got a nice ring to it!
By the way, who's the stupid hippy beardo/weirdo?
And if you must know, i'm quite comfortable in a dress.
I can't believe I paid 154 dollars last year to park at shit/fuck O'hara's. Oh, I forgot ass.

1.

OK. I've learned something very important here. I'm putting too many pictures and my blog titles are too long. What can I say? I got carried away with the thrill of it all. Here's a drawing I made at Lunch on Sunday. Jojo is defiantly playing the autoharp through a '56 Fender Champ. Kris is playing a Wurlitzer Electric Piano through some custom-made Mommy stacks (50-watt). I'm enjoying my ultra-modern Liberty Spikes hairdo while trying to remain calm. Kris received a book in the mail that contains an article she wrote. Cool! Way to go, Mrs.V! I'm mentioned as "husband" which is pretty accurate. Tonight, I must battle receipts for TAX TIME. Drag. I've been putting it off but the deadline has arrived. This week is pretty much fucked. I have so much stuff to do and here I am typing away...ignoring my responsibilities...daydreaming of fame and fortune...and iced coffee...bowling...big sweaty mens...traffic....eeeeeeeEEEEEEEEENOUGH ALREADY!!!! OK OK OK 1 2 3 BEATLES!!!! Whew! Where am I? What happened while I was gone? I'm gonna have to start adding some spice to this dealio. Maybe I could increase my subscribers! Yeah! Hey everybody! It's Me! You know me! Welcome! Sit down. Make yourself comfortable. Have some cea and trumpets.......i think it's working.
P.S. yes, those are spongebob slippers. no, you can't have them.

If I Told You You Have A Nice Body, Would You Hold It Against Me or We've Had A Lot Of Requests But We're Gonna Keep Right On Playing Anyway

Tonight, Mr. Charlie Gonzalez reprised his role as a Dillenger. Lots of fun was had. Didn't bring the A game but I hardly ever do. Last night was OK. Didin't play anything too new and my tendonitis locked up while I was flailing away at the repulsive electric twanger. Nobody seemed to notice. We had a small celebration for Easter/Jojo's berfday but I had to miss most of it to make Elwood's. Our Pal Otto made this excellent ticket stub for my dream gig. Aaaah, i wouldn't want to make them look silly! We just watched two Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman episodes and they were great. Must get sleeeeeeeep!

The Drone in G

Keith came over and we had a guitarathon. He brought his beeeeeeeutiful new Sonic Stratocaster and I got to fondle it. Yummy. We got to play together which doesn't happen often and a swell time was had by yours truly. This morning, the fam went out for Waffle House and that's always yummy. I'm not feeling so good. My sinuses are going bonkers. Can't wait to hear my singing tonight! Must go change strings.

Time In A Bleach Bottle

Ahhh...the birthday was successful. As mentioned earlier, ice cream was eaten and smiles were pasted all around. Here' a pic of the Friendly's goofballs serenading my goober. I did also get Woody back from the shop. Haven't tested the pickup yet. Here also is a natural light pic of Kris in Friendly's. As Keith likes to say, "Life is Good". Tomorrow night, I play O'Hara's and i'm a little nervous about it. I haven't played guitar for a few weeks and it's always nerve-wracking to get back on the bike. Will I remember how to do it? Will I break a string? Will I be impaled by an sharp G9? The answers to these and more tomorrow.